Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Ask Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez

"Mr. Chavez, our puppy keeps having accidents on the carpet. We have tried and tried, but we just can't seem to housebreak him. Do you have any suggestions?"

Piddle in Peoria

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez responds:

Dear Piddle,

Puppies are the devil. They bark as if they own the world. As the spokesdogs of imperialism, they come to share their nostrums to try to preserve the current pattern of domination, exploitation and pillage of the peoples of the world. An Alfred Hitchcock movie could use it as a scenario. I would even propose a title: "The Puppies."


"Mr. Chavez, I generally love my wife's cooking, but. . . her lasagna needs some work. She's served it three times this month and each time it has been, um, underwhelming, to say the least. I know she's trying and I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I think I should say something. How should I broach the subject?"

Barfing in Barstow

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez responds:

Dear Barfing,

Your wife made lasagna yesterday. And it smells of sulfur still today. Your wife's lasagna is doing all it can to consolidate its hegemonistic system of domination, and we cannot allow it to do that. We cannot allow world dictatorship to be consolidated.


"Mr. Chavez, what do you think of President Bush?"

Wondering in Wichita

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez responds:

I think he's a good guy.


Blogger Nostradamus said...

Boy, that guy's sure full of hot air!

11:17 PM  

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