Friday, September 22, 2006

The Cool Pool

You've probably heard of "ghoul pools," in which people bet on which celebrities they think are going to die soon. Well, that seems a little too gruesome for a mildly amusing blog like this. So. . .

Welcome to The Cool Pool!

Here's the way it works: we take various celebrities and put their names into Google one by one, taking note of the number of results for each one. We then repeat the process, this time adding the word "cool" to each search, and again record the number of results for each search. We then divide the second set of numbers by the first set of numbers to get a "cool quotient" for each celebrity. Then we compare the cool quotient of each celebrity and find out who's really cool and who isn't.

Confused? So are we! Let's get started!

Today's celebrities:

Tom Cruise: 4,810,000 / 26,100,000 = 18.43% cool

Katie Holmes: 2,240,000 / 13,200,000 = 16.97% cool

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes: 88,900 / 496,000 = 17.92% cool

Paris Hilton: 12,600,000 / 63,400,000 = 19.87% cool

David Letterman: 1,040,000 / 5,010,000 = 20.76% cool

Jay Leno: 1,590,000 / 6,860,000 = 23.18% cool

Lindsay Lohan: 4,150,000 / 19,800,000 = 20.96% cool

Saddam Hussein: 3,270,000 / 24,400,000 = 13.40% cool

Osama bin Laden: 3,350,000 / 26,400,000 = 12.69% cool

George W. Bush: 9,340,000 / 141,000,000 = 6.62% cool

Steve Irwin: 5,520,000 / 31,000,000 = 17.81% cool

stingrays: 619,000 / 2,500,000 = 24.76% cool

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez: 89,700 / 907,000 = 9.89% cool

mildlyamusing.com: 63 / 1,600 = 3.94% cool

So, we can see the following trends:

-- Katie Holmes is slightly cooler with Tom Cruise than without him.

-- Jay Leno is cooler than David Letterman. (We demand a recount!)

-- Lindsay Lohan is cooler than Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush combined.

-- Stingrays are cooler than Steve Irwin was. Guess that's why stingrays are still around.

-- mildlyamusing.com is less than half as cool as Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

Hmm. . . maybe we shouldn't do this anymore.

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