Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Lindsay, Britney To Compete In "Rehab-Off"

Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are slated to compete against each other in a first-of-its-kind Rehab-Off, it was reported Tuesday. The two troubled young women will vie for the American public's sympathy and affection while fighting to stay clean and sober.

Details of the planned Britsay Bowl '07 are still sketchy at best, but here's what we do know:

  • Lindsay has the inside track to sobriety, as she is actually still under the legal drinking age and, as a result, may not be able to purchase alcohol in some establishments. However, she may still be able to procure such beverages through the use of a fake IMDB profile.
  • Britney, being the older of the two competitors, presumably has more experience being drunk and thus may be better able to hold her liquor.
  • There is a chance that Lindsay and Britney will join forces to do an album of duets or possibly a "buddy movie." In that case, they will almost certainly achieve mutual assured inebriation and the Rehab-Off will end in a draw.
  • In addition to airing on pay-per-view television, the Rehab-Off will be documented in Britney's new DVD, "Oops!...I Drank It Again."
  • Justin Timberlake will be the emcee and designated driver.
The Rehab-Off promoters have announced that Britsay Bowl '07 will be open to wagering in Las Vegas beginning next week. The early odds have Britney as a three-hangover favorite.

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