Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Banks Announce "Just Send Us Your Paycheck" Mortgages

Following the success of such financial products as "Adjustable Rate Mortgages" and "Interest Only Mortgages" and "Reverse Interest Mortgages," the banking community was pleased to announce "Just Send Us Your Paycheck Mortgages."

"The way it works is simple," said Bank of America CEO Kenneth D. Lewis. "You tell us what house you want and how much you make. We take your paycheck. When you lose your job, we take your house back."

Coldwell Banker CEO Jim Gillespie added, "I want to make a slight clarification. It was never really your house."

"We sort of see this as a simplified version of what's been happening for the last few years," said Lewis. "It eliminates a lot of the headaches, and doesn't confuse anybody with all that 'APR' and 'interest' foolishness."

If this loan product is successful, cell phone companies plan to introduce "Whenever We Feel Like Charging Them To You Minutes" in the 1st quarter of 2008.


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