Saturday, July 28, 2007

Man Seeks Legal Separation From Olive Garden Family

OREM, UT--Local resident Scott Collins has sought legal emancipation from the Olive Garden restaurant.

In a statement filed by his attorney, Collins desires to have, "visitation rights, but no legal or familial connections" with the restaurant chain.

Olive Garden, however, says it's not that simple. "We're aware of Mr. Collins request," said a spokesman, "and he simply doesn't understand. When he's here, he's family.

"And he really should have some of the salad. It's there, it's in the big bowl--there's no reason for him not to have a little. What, is he on a diet? It's salad."

If this suit is successful, Collins will also seek to be able to visit IHOP when he's not really feeling all that hungry and then leave in whatever mood he wants.


Blogger Jarrod said...

I heard IHOP originally planned to use the slogan "Come having already eaten. Leave in existential angst." But then they decided that wasn't good marketing.

4:29 PM  

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