Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Bush Finally Reveals Iraq Exit Strategy

President Bush finally revealed his Iraq exit strategy today during a press conference at the White House.

"We're gonna do it Sopranos-style," said Bush. "We're just gonna cut to black."

When asked by a reporter what exactly that meant, Bush replied, "It's just gonna end. It'll just be over. The American people won't see how it all turns out. Did we win? Did we lose? Did Tony Soprano die? Did Saddam Hussein come back from the dead and start running around as a zombie eating people's brains like in those movies that the kids like? All these questions will be left up to each person's imagination to answer."

Bush also outlined his administration's plans to address the lack of closure many Americans might feel following the cut-to-black in Iraq.

"We got some great new shows comin' up," said Bush. "Shows like Invasion: Iran. Shows like Patriot Act 2. People are gonna forget all about Iraq."

Bush also faced questions from reporters about what will become of all the American troops currently serving in Iraq when the cut-to-black happens.

"Don't worry about them," said Bush. "We're gonna give all of 'em roles on the new shows. You'll be seeing them again real soon."

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