Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Cops Use Seized Steroids To Create Team of Super Cops

One day after announcing the largest steroid bust in history, law enforcement officials have announced their intention to use the seized materials for their benefit.

"We're glad we got this stuff," said a police spokesman. "Steroids are dangerous. They aren't the glamorous, magical muscle makers the media hype machine wants you to think they are. And now that we have them, we're going to make a super team of indestructible officers.

"It is also our intention to offer some of the chiseled, tough criminals we captured as part of the bust the chance to harness their power for good. We have offered the strongest of them full pardons if they will join our super team and shun their dark pasts.

"We will also begin recruiting super cops from the worlds of professional wrestling, football, and baseball, offering to overturn steroid convictions in exchange for faithful law enforcement service."

Law enforcement officials remain proud of the bust.

"Steroids are bad for you, kids. And if you try them, our team of super-strong mega-men will come after you and hurt you. And probably woo away your girlfriend."


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