Monday, September 17, 2007

"Real Killer" Found In Vegas Seeking OJ's DNA

The infamous "Real Killer" was spotted recently in Las Vegas, attempting to obtain samples of OJ Simpson's DNA on sports memorabilia that used to belong to OJ Simpson.

For years, OJ Simpson has been tenaciously following clues that led him through golf courses and Caribbean resorts, as he kept his pledge to never rest until the "Real Killer" was brought to justice.

However, this weekend the "Real Killer" got ahead of OJ, and attempted to pilfer the Juice's former property.

"The 'Real Killer' and his team of vile, rapscallion henchmen are obviously attempting to obtain DNA to use to frame me in another murder, which will likely be committed just as soon as these guys let me out of prison," said Simpson.

Sgt. John Loretto has said his team is preparing for the possibility that Simpson might try to flee. "We're accounting for every possibility," said Loretto. "We've stationed half our team at the Avis counter at the airport.

"In the eventuality of a freeway chase, the other half have been equipped with moderately fast jogging shoes."

Meanwhile, police are looking into who else might possibly be involved.

"We do have suspects," said Loretto. "And at the top of the list are humor sites desperate to recycle jokes they haven't used since the late 90's." could not be reached for comment.



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