Monday, January 28, 2008

Rudy Giuliani Asks For Time Out, Because "Not Ready"

Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani was seen frantically running around Florida the past few hours making a "T" shape with his hands and begging anyone he met to please, please, give him a time out because he, "Isn't ready."

Guiliani has been scoring low in the early primaries, and currently has won fewer delegates than candidates who are no longer in the race, like Fred Thompson and Barry Goldwater.

He has been assuring voters this was no big deal, due to the large show of support he would receive from Florida voters. However, his support has been minimal at campaign events in the state, and poll numbers continue to show him woefully behind.

When asked about what caused Rudy to fall behind, one Giuliani insider confided, "His entire campaign preparation strategy has revolved around trying to find a way to tie every single word in the dictionary back to 9/11. Now it's just a few hours before the Florida vote, and he's still only partway through the X's."

Officials have not yet announced whether they would honor the time-honored playground tradition for the former Mayor--as of press time, they were still too busy making a ruling in the following Romney / McCain exchange:

"You're the liar! You said I wanted amnesty for illegals!"
"No, you're the liar! You said I wanted a timetable for troop withdrawal!"
"Nuh-uh, you are!"
"You are times ten!"
"You are times infinity!"
"You are times infinity plus ten!"

Officials have yet to determine whether infinity plus ten actually has a greater value than infinity, or if it is, instead, equal to infinity.

A committee of fifth graders is being consulted on the matter.



Blogger Jarrod said...

I think he's still not ready.

11:52 PM  

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