Saturday, July 30, 2011

U.S. Government Will Work For Food

BREAKING NEWS

WASHINGTON--Democratic and Republican leaders crossed the aisle late Saturday night to come together on a last-minute debt-limit deal that will avert an unprecedented and potentially catastrophic U.S. default.

A beaming House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) announced the news to a relieved nation during a hastily arranged joint news conference with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) on the steps outside the Senate.

"Senator Reid and I are very pleased to announced that the partisan rhetoric and political machinations end tonight," said Boehner.

"The United States government will not default on its debt, now or ever. My fellow Americans, the United States government will work for food."

With that, Boehner pulled out from behind his podium a ragged, hand-cut cardboard sign with the words "WILL WORK FOR FOOD" written in black marker. Boehner and Reid held opposite ends of the sign and raised it triumphantly above their heads as flash bulbs popped around them.

A short way down the sidewalk, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) played an unrecognizable blues tune on an acoustic guitar while passersby dropped coins into the open case next to him.

President Obama released a brief statement which read: "I'm thrilled, as all Americans are, that the House and Senate have come together and reached this agreement in just the nick of time to avert possible economic disaster. I fully support the agreement and Michelle and I have a few chores around here at the White House that Speaker Boehner and Senator Reid are welcome to help us with."


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